From a young age, Amanda realised she learned differently, often finding school more challenging than her peers. Struggling with reading and spelling, and battling a sense of anxiety and shame that followed her for years, she masked her difficulties throughout school and university until being diagnosed with dyslexia at 25. In this thoughtful and personal story, Amanda shares how she found ways to adapt to her learning style and the validation that came with her diagnosis. She also reflects on the importance of recognising and supporting children who may be facing similar challenges. Amanda has a degree and is a trained social worker, we are very grateful to her for sharing her story with us.
From a really young age, I knew I learned differently and found things at school more difficult than my peers.
I found reading and spellings hard and I can still remember the utterly consuming feeling of anxiety, from reading out loud in class.
I remember when I was about 6 years and many children were reading early chapter books and I was still reading large picture books, with a couple of lines on each page.
The shame of not being able to read words that your peers can and having a slower flow of reading, it stays with you. At secondary school, I think I was able to mask my difficulties by being very organised (lists and diaries were and still are my main crux), seeming very confident and engaged in school. I managed my way through secondary school seemingly ok – despite doing well in my GCSEs I struggled with exams – I could easily misinterpret questions, misread questions but somehow, I seemed to go under radar. I worked out that I learned best kinetically, experiencing and doing, so I applied this when it came to revision. Reading information out loud, whilst walking around, repeatedly.
When I did English A level, I think this is where my struggles really came to the surface. I struggled to keep up with all the reading, and I could not remember what I had read. I had no enjoyment for reading (and I sadly still don’t). It was and still is a chore. As an alternative way of doing things, I was able to use audio books, which really helped me get into the books. Despite struggling, my learning needs were still not identified by teaching staff.
During my undergraduate degree, it was my boyfriend who really identified that he thought there was something quite different about my learning style. He used to proof read my essays, as words would be missing, or sentences would not make sense. It sometimes felt that my brain worked faster than I could type or write, which led to words being missed out or sentences being muddled. Even proof reading my own work, I couldn’t easily identify the mistakes or missing words. I would read the words there, even though they weren’t. Another difficulty, that really became apparent during this time, was my inability to write and listen at the same time. It had always been an issue, for example, writing down a telephone number which would be difficult, it would take several attempts and most of time I would get it wrong. During lectures, my notes would be gobbledegook. However, again by being organised with my work and keeping to deadlines and doing extra work, I was able to complete my degree.
My dyslexia didn’t put me off studying, I just had to find ways of managing it. It was during an induction at university for my Masters that they offered free dyslexia screening and I took this opportunity. This assessment confirmed the struggles I had experienced all my life and at the age of 25 years, I was diagnosed with dyslexia. It felt that it validated everything that I had experienced growing up.
Through the university I was able to use computer software which typed as I spoke into it. I actually found this quite frustrating and ultimately, I ended up not using it as it was very slow.
My husband continues to help me and is still my official proof reader. I don’t let my dyslexia define me. I know the things I struggle with, and what I can to do to manage this, as best as I can. I’ve never let it hold me back – studying, jobs, interviews etc. It is something I am very mindful of though for my children now, particularly my youngest, who I will continue to monitor and keep a very close eye on. I would not want her to go under radar, like I did.
SPACE offers both dyslexia screenings and full diagnostic assessments for children and young people with our qualified assessor. As you would expect from SPACE, we offer supportive and impartial advice and are available to answer any questions you might have. If your child or young person is struggling with literacy and you are considering whether a dyslexia assessment is appropriate please contact services@spaceherts.org.uk requesting a free, no obligation conversation. Or you can go straight to booking an appointment for a dyslexia screening or assessment here. Please note these are paid for services.
