Creating a Festive Season That Works for Your Family
Christmas can be overwhelming for our neurodivergent children and young people because along with the magic it also brings a whirlwind of sensory, social, and emotional challenges. Bright lights, loud music, unfamiliar often itchy clothing and busy gatherings can lead to sensory overload, while changes in routine and unpredictable events can heighten anxiety. Social expectations, like seeing friends and relatives or opening presents in front of others, can also feel daunting. For many, the sheer excitement and pace of the season can become exhausting.
The magic of Christmas doesn’t have to look the same for everyone. Whether it’s simplifying activities or focusing on quieter moments, here are some ideas from Team SPACE to help make Christmas as enjoyable as possible for everyone this year.
Swap the Traditional Turkey for Your Family’s Favourites
Not everyone loves a big roast dinner! If turkey and trimmings aren’t your child’s favourite, why not have pizza, chicken nuggets, or even pancakes as your Christmas meal? Fed is best, so offer food your child already enjoys and include simple, safe options where necessary.
And if they don’t want to join you for a family meal at the table, or if you all decide to enjoy lunch in front of the TV together instead that’s ok too.
Tone down the decorations
Some children will love the bling of a big sparkly Christmas tree but for others it will simply be too much. Use fewer decorations or keep them in specific areas of the house to reduce overwhelm.
And if that is still too much a mini tree on a shelf, some decorated twigs, a wall hanging or no decorations at all are all perfectly fine alternatives.
Plan ahead for events
Planning ahead for festive events like decorating the tree, attending school Christmas plays, or visiting relatives can help reduce anxiety and make these moments more enjoyable.
Using visual aids such as calendars, social stories, now and next boards or picture schedules can outline what to expect and when. These tools provide a clear sense of structure and help children prepare for changes in routine. The more predictable the experience, the more confident and comfortable your child will feel.
Focus on smaller gatherings
For some families, focusing on smaller, quieter gatherings can make Christmas more enjoyable and less overwhelming for neurodivergent children. It’s okay to celebrate with just your immediate family or a close friend or two, rather than involving extended relatives if it feels too stressful.
Intimate gatherings create a calmer environment where your child can feel safe and comfortable, without the added pressure of social expectations. Remember, the most important part of Christmas is spending time in a way that works best for your family, even if that means skipping big get-togethers altogether.
Simplify Present Giving
For our neurodivergent children, the process of giving and receiving gifts can come with unique challenges.
Social ‘norms’ like saying ‘thank you’ or opening presents in front of others may feel uncomfortable for our children. If they are going to feel overwhelmed by an audience allow them to open presents privately.
Unexpected gifts can also be a cause of anxiety. Involve them in creating a wish list and explain to friends and relatives that they don’t enjoy surprises so kindly gift-givers can buy from the list ahead of time.
And even with a wish list, not knowing what is inside a wrapped gift can also trigger anxiety for some of our children. Consider using clear wrapping paper or skipping paper altogether.
Don’t forget to prep the tech too! Stock up on the right type of batteries ahead of time. Consider putting batteries in in advance so toys are ready to go straight from the box. And if you are gifting a games console don’t forget to plug it in, charge it and download any games they may want to play before the big day. Firmware updates can take anything from 1 to 8 hours to it is definitely worth doing this in advance if you can.
It is also perfectly ok to open presents on Christmas Eve or even earlier if the anxiety of waiting gets too much. Which brings us neatly onto…
Set realistic expectations
Let friends and family know about your child’s needs and preferences ahead of time. Explain that your child may not respond as they expect them to and that this is okay. Finally, we know how hard it can be sometimes to let go of our own expectations but remember to enjoy and celebrate all the ways your children choose to engage with Christmas this year no matter how big or small.
